Knitting Quotes

I was watching “Network” yesterday, and got a chuckle at a knitting reference. Just for fun, I decided to search the IMDB quotes for other knitting quotes. Here are some of them for your entertainment:

Louise Schumacher: Is that what’s left for me? Is that my share? She gets the winter passion, and I get the dotage? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to sit at home knitting and purling while you slink back like some penitent drunk? I’m your wife, damn it. And, if you can’t work up a winter passion for me, the least I require is respect and allegiance.
– Network (1976)

Paige Matthews: And you, you’re not La Femme Nikita. You’re a Charmed One. You don’t mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise, you’d rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies or knitting booties.
– “Charmed” (TV) (2003)

The Devil: We have work to do my loathsome toad.
Smeck: Evil work?
The Devil: No, knitting. Of course evil work!
– “God, the Devil and Bob” (TV) (2000)

Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens: I’m knitting a sweater. Actually Meredith, that’s my friend – the friend that broke George – is knitting a sweater. She’s not really knitting a sweater because she can not knit but I want her to think she is knitting a sweater because she and I took a celibacy vow so she’s replacing sex with knitting and so I’m knitting pieces of Meredith’s sweater so that I can switch them out with hers so that she can really believe she’s knitting because if anybody needs to be celibate, it’s Meredith because she broke George.
– “Grey’s Anatomy” (TV) (2006)

Dr. Gregory House: My God, you’re right, I lost my head. All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we’re on it like stink on cheese.
– “House M.D.” (TV) (2005)

Hawkeye: Margaret, wasn’t this potholder supposed to be a scarf?
Margaret: It hasn’t been a scarf in weeks. I’m knitting a sweater for a pilot I met in Tokyo.
– M*A*S*H (TV) (1980)

Mike Nelson: So, the first plot point involves knitting socks. I think we’re in for quite a ride, guys!
– “Mystery Science Theater 3000” (TV) (1997)

Narrator: And Emerson Cod realized he would not be not knitting anytime soon, as the dead girl who was not dead appeared to be staying put… a fact the Pie Maker celebrated.
– “Pushing Daisies” (TV) (2007)

Vala Malduran: By the looks on your faces, I can see you’re not surprised I had more in common with the village harlot than I did with any of the ladies of the local knitting circle.
– “Stargate SG-1” (TV) (2006)

Al Pacino: Roger f*cking-knitting-pattern-Moore.
– “Stella Street” (1997)

Announcer: The weak, the wimps and the woosies still have three seconds to get the hell outta here, and get back to their knitting!
– “Beyond Good & Evil” (2003)

Babs: Perhaps he just went on holiday.
Bunty: Perhaps he just went to get away from your infernal knitting!
– Chicken Run (2000)

Rick Dion: You don’t want the oxygen masks popping out. It might panic the passengers.
Capt. Bob Pearson: “Might panic”? Heh. I’m surprised they’re not back there knitting their own parachutes right now.
– “Falling from the Sky: Flight 174” (1995)

Kay Villano: DON’T TOUCH THAT CHAIR. My fiancé… was born in it.
Charlotte Banning: Rupert was born in a chair?
Kay Villano: Yes, it’s the most lovely story. His mother was just sitting there, knitting, listening to the radio – and out popped my fiancé.
– Kiss Me Goodbye (1982)

Lady Presenter: Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where’s the fun in pictures?
– “The Meaning of Life” (1983)

Jack Fisher: You know, a dame with a rod is like a guy with a knitting needle.
– “Out of the Past” (1947)

Sage: Knit two, purl four, carry the one, divide by pi, square root…
– “Johnny and the Sprites” (TV) (2005)

Ed Portman: Maybe it’s a celebrity, coming to knit with you!
– “Raising Helen” (2004)

Rafi Gardet: His pen*s is so beautiful I just want to knit it a hat.
– “Prime” (2005)

J. Pierpont Finch: I feel sorry for men who don’t knit, they lead empty lives.
– “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” (1967)

Fake Gomez: [Fester has him on the rack, mistaking him for Gomez] I’m just a guest here, take off my mask and you’ll see.
Uncle Fester: An imposter! That’s the first mistake I ever made on the rack, if I stretched you out, I could see about having you shortened. And if your socks are stretched, I’ll be very happy to knit you a new pair.
– “Halloween with the New Addams Family” (TV) (1977)

Rocky Jones: Return to your quarters and, ah, knit me a sweater.
Vena Ray: Sorry, sir, I don’t know how to knit, but if I did, I’d make you a muffler and maybe tie it real tight… around your neck – sir!
– “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger” (TV) (1954)

Robert Redgate: The National Bubble Chemical Company has today announced its newest environmentally safe propellant product, Spray Sweater. The ultimate protection for your precious bubbles. Until today, we’ve always had to knit or buy old fashioned, regular sweaters to protect our bubbles. But now, Spray Sweater makes it easy for everyone. All you have to do is put those Spray Sweaters around your favorite bubbles and they’ll be safe. Spray Sweater, the absolute ultimate in bubble protection.
– “MisteRogers’ Neighborhood” (TV) (1968)

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3 Responses to Knitting Quotes

  1. Chris says:

    Some of those are excellent – thanks for sharing!

  2. Let’s not forget Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:

    “Alright everyone, back to your knitting. This is going to be uncomfortable enough without you nosey sods listening in.”- Fred Weasley

  3. Carrie K says:

    There are some great quotes in there! And stereotyping. Oh well.

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